Crasymaker

Got it. It rules. Nikon Coolpix 3100 for sale.

Hey look! Sarah Photoshopped a few pictures to make it look like me and Cory were making out at Maxine’s after his show. Also, it looks like she did a little work on my eyes to make me look like I’d been drinking. You gotta love that Photoshop.

I play softball on a sweet team called The Canadian Tuxedos. We are just about the best team in the league. By “best team” I do not mean the “wins games” kind of best team, though. I mean the “has the most fans, plays awesome music from the dugout and wears football helmets while up to bat” kind of best team.

For those of you not in-the-know, a Canadian Tuxedo is when you wear jeans, a jean shirt and a jean jacket. Sometimes, you can go with just the jeans and the jean shirt. However, jeans and a jean jacket do not equal a Canadian Tuxedo cause sometimes they look cool together. The best way to tell is this: If it looks ridiculous, it’s a Canadian Tuxedo.

I tried to get the other guys to agree to wearing actual Canadian Tuxedos for jerseys but they said it would be too hot. I say, it would be too HOTT as in kick-ass but alas, we got regular jerseys instead. We did, however, get to choose our nickname on the back. Mine is “Winner” which is pretty awesome but not as awesome as Dustin’s nickname which actually is “Awesome.”

There are only six teams in the “Recreational” league and we are one of them. We chose this league over the “Competetive” leagues so we might actually stand a chance of winning a game or two but after games 1 and 2 last week, we realized that “Recreational” league is secret code for “Competetive Leagues Filled Up So The Recreational League Will Have One Recreational Team and Five Competetive Teams Meaning The Recreational Team Will Suffer Endless Losses And Eternal Humiliation.”

We will not let this bring us down, though. We have lots more going for us than just being good (which we aren’t). We have about a dozen die-hard fans, we have Jonathan “Boombox” Haguewood who plays theme music every time we go up to bat and finally, we have a real dolphin for a mascot. Psyche you out. We don’t have a real dolphin for a mascot but we do have way cooler stuff than the other team, win or lose.

Matt Pond PA “Canadian Song”

We went to the Washington County Fair last night.

There was a monkey named Leroy.

This might be the best picture I have ever had the priviledge of being in.

Lilys “Day Of The Monkey”

This past weekend was a busy one. I finished moving in to my new house, did some weed eating, went to JR’s Lightbulb Club on its last night of existence and I attended my high school reunion downtown at The Radisson.

I’ll post more about my house later when we are finished fixing it up (read: next year) and when there are some killer photos to show and brag about. Weed eating is just weed eating and nobody wants to read about how tough I felt when purchasing my first gas-powered weed eater.

The closing of JR’s is pretty depressing. I have been drinking beer and playing shows at that place for over 10 years now and it’s been a Fayetteville hotspot since 1988. Apparently, it will re-open in a couple of months as a gay dance club called “Tangerine”. Seriously. No joke. There are rumors that the owners are opening a couple of JR’s-style dive bars around town pretty soon but none of them will feature live music. Four letters: L-A-M-E.

At my reunion, I was surprised to see that nobody had changed all that much after 10 years. I’ll bet after 20, I won’t even be able to recognize myself, let alone any of the other freaks and geeks (oh yeah, and cool dudes). The reunion itself was pretty boring but I did have a great time catching up with 5 or 6 friends from back in the day. I laughed harder than I’ve laughed in a few months and I managed to sabotage a few of my classmates by constructing something I like to call “Spoon Tied To A Balloon In The Aisle So It Gets Tangled In Peoples’ Feet While They Walk Behind Me.” There were a couple of celebs there too including me, a girl we went to high school with who was on MTV’s The Real World and her (husband?) Scott Wolf from Party Of Five fame.

The sweetest part of the weekend, however, was finding out that Seth and I’s names were still in the mailbox at the townhouse we lived in together right after graduating highschool 10 years ago. Hell yeah. Check it out in the picture below.

MC5 “High School”

I knew that when I became a homeowner, I would be responsible for things that I have never had to worry about before such as calling a plumber and actually having to pay for it myself or replacing the air filters in the air conditioner and NOT getting reimbursed by the landlord. But I never thought that within one week of owning my first house the mailman would knock on the door and explain that since I did not have a roadside mailbox, then I would have to pick my mail up at the post office every day until I installed one myself.

He said something about it being part of a plan to convert our neighborhood into a safer place to deliver mail since there is no sidewalk. Sounds legit, right? Wrong. Why? BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE ON OUR STREET HAS A ROADSIDE MAILBOX. I figured that by the time I got home from work yesterday, I would notice lots of brand new mailboxes and would get a feel for what kind of mailbox to buy and how to install it. Nope. Not a single mailbox had been put up and nobody was even measuring or standing in the yard looking like they might be thinking about how or where to install their mailbox.

I immediately decided it must be a practical joke that the neighborhood oldies had gotten together and organized in order to initiate Sarah and I into their little club since we’re the only people on the street under the age of 70. By now I’d become all nervous and paranoid thinking that I was gonna end up on some new show called Geriatric Punk’d where Don Knotts comes slowly rolling up from the distance in a wheelchair and announces, “Nnnneewww Nnnnottt Nnnunnnkd.” And I say, “Excuse me?” And he says, “Nnnneewww Nnnnottt Nnnunnnkd.” And I say again, “Excuse me??” And finally one of the cameramen says, “I think he’s trying to say ‘You got Punk’d'”

As it turns out, all NEW residents have to get a mailbox so that eventually, when all these old people move away (read: die) there will one day (read: soon) be a street full of nice shiny roadside mailboxes and then the mailman won’t have to worry about getting run over by a Pontiac Bonneville that is driving a full 8mph down our street.

Lightnin’ Hopkins “No Mail Blues”

Don’t forget to check out the Lunch Tour! site from time to time. In case you don’t know, it is another blog that I post on with four other co-workers/friends. Basically, we became incredibly bored of going to the same old lunch spots and decided to venture out where no professional has been before. Along the way, we have discovered some excellent food and some even more excellent service tucked away in the cracks and corners of Northwest Arkansas. And then we write about it.

A few of the highlights so far have been The Cafeteria at Washington Regional Hospital, The Mercantile (gas station) Grille and Taco Place.

I liked Taco Place so much that I wrote and recorded a radio jingle for them. Wanna hear it? Yes? Sweet, then head on over to the Lunch Tour! site and check it out. We even have some awesome merchandise if you’re interested. Yay!

Paul Westerberg “Jingle”

When we rented our house last August, we happened to noticed the sign in the yard just minutes after it was placed there. While we were insided getting a tour, a young couple walked up onto the porch and yelled, “If they aren’t sure about this house, then we’ll sign a lease right now!” I thought to myself, “Either this house is the coolest rental in Fayetteville or the landlord has paid this couple to run up here and push us into signing a lease.” So we signed a lease on the spot, partially because we were getting desperate and partially because I am a sucker.

This year was just as exciting. At 8am on Monday, I dropped off the last month’s rent with a note explaining that we wouldn’t be renewing our lease. Exactly one hour later, the landlord called and asked if she could show it at 10am the next day. WHAT?! I wanted to ask her how in the hell she found a potential renter in under an hour but instead, I said, “Sure.” Shorty after showing the house, the landlord called and said she wouldn’t be showing it anymore because the potential renter was now the definite renter. Wow.

Take a close look at that “For Lease” sign in the front yard. It’s a very rare species that only emerges once a year for about 24 hours. I was very fortunate to get as close as I did and even more so that I was able to snap this photo…

Lifter Puller “Rental”

Sarah and I decided to make up for the fact that we never go to see movies in a theater by watching two movies in one weekend. The first one was so good that we were totally setting ourselves up for a letdown by watching a second. But we risked it anyway (Why am I talking like this? Who in the hell says, “But we risked it anyway” when referring to watching a movie. I am turning into an idiot.).

This time around it was Hustle & Flow. Our reasoning behind going to see this film was the fact that it was filmed in Memphis by a Memphian and it’s always sweet to watch a movie and try to see places you know. Plus, we heard one of the characters wore a Lucero shirt towards the end of the movie.

I’m not a film critic so I won’t try to tell you why this movie was so good. All I can say is that it was so good and maybe you’ll want to check it out. Or you can eat it. It’s your choice.

DJay “Whoop That Trick”

As usual, my Dad treated us all to a movie while visiting this weekend. We chose Charlie & The Chocolate Factory despite my fears that it would totally suck. I am a big fan of the original and not just because everyone says I look like Gene Wilder. I was afraid that re-making the film would ruin it. It didn’t suck at all and was, in fact, totally sweet. Yeow!

I got to work this morning and told some guys I loved it and one of them said, “Really!? Because everyone I talked to said it was terrible.” I said, “Hmm. That’s weird because I thought it ruled.” But what I should have said was, “Hmm. That’s weird. Everyone you talked to must be a moron because I thought it ruled.”

Kings Of Convenience “Leaning Against The Wall (Remake)”

The Good Fear will be rocking at The Eighth Street Tap Room tomorrow night in Lawrence, Kansas with White Whale (formerly Matt Suggs & The Higher Burning Fire) so if you live near there, you can either eat it or come to the show.

Tomorrow is also Seth’s birthday. If you see him, you can either tell him to eat it or you can say “Happy Birthday.”

The Good Fear “The Way You Were”

My friend Bill has started a new company up in NYC called New Scratch Records and I suggest you check it out. There are a handful of rarities for sale over there that you might enjoy if you like Lucero, Arcade Fire or The White Stripes.

Most notable are the Lucero documentary made by Andrew Leggett and the Red 40 discography which is Ben Nichols’ (of Lucero) old punk band from Little Rock, AR. You can also find some sweet 7″s and EPs that are definitely not for sale at Best Buy.

Help him out and hook yourself up at the same time. For a limited time only, I believe he is french kissing every CD for your added pleasure. Plus he doesn’t charge for shipping. What a guy.

Delinquent Habits “O.G. Scratch”

I just got back from watching Travis Morrison play at JR’s. Three songs into his set, he insulted some of his oldest and most loyal fans in Fayetteville including me and a handful of other people who were, up until that point, thoroughly enjoying the show.

Travis was the frontman for The Dismemberment Plan before they broke up a couple of years ago. In case you don’t know, The Dismemberment Plan (or D-Plan for short) are/were one of the most innovative and influential bands in independent music history. They played sold out shows all over the country and when they disbanded, tons of people (even in Arkansas) were at a loss for words. Travis’ solo record, Travistan, did not go over as well as you might assume. Even I had a hard time listening to it on the first go-around. But the guy is a great songwriter, so when I heard he was coming to town, I marked my calendar and showed up (on a Monday night at that).

Note to self: If there are only 21 people at your show, try not to insult nearly 1/3 of them because when they innevitably turn around and leave the club, there will only be about 14 left and that’s just flat out embarrassing. Although, not as embarrassing as this.

Travis Morrison “People Die”

I decided a few months ago that I would release all the videos on a DVD after I made twelve of them. Well, that didn’t happen. But thirteen is the magic number here at Crasymaker.com so for only $6.00 (that includes shipping, too), you can watch them all in high-quality (pretty decent quality) on your big-screen TV in the comfort of your own home while wearing absolutely nothing (or clothes). Click on the image at the top-right of the page and you’ll be on your way to owning the dumbest thing ever burned onto a DVD. Just kidding, the videos totally rule. Thank you.

Ben Folds Five “Video Killed The Radio Star”

Dustin’s birthday was two days ago. I am always late with birthdays. Eat it.

New Kids On The Block “Happy Birthday”