Crasymaker

Last week I played my first softball game since getting smacked…sort of. So far, I am just a hitter, meaning that I only hit (with my helmet, of course) and don’t actually play in the field. It kinda sucks just sitting there waiting to hit and not being able to help out in the outfield like I am used to but it is fun to be playing again.

We got our pictures taken the other day. I think we are making trading cards for each of us. Check out the photos at Nick’s Flickr page.

Tomorrow marks the 2 week anniversary of that ball landing on my eye and guess who’s not celebrating…ME! As you can see from the photos, I am healing up nicely…on the outside, that is.

There’s still no sign of my vision getting any better and if you look closely at the last photo in the Mr. Softball - Finale gallery, you can see that my eye is still VERY dilated which, for a lack of better words at this moment, sucks ass. Everything is too bright including the screen of this laptop I am using right now. Nothing looks right and the headaches I get from trying to do the most normal things are pretty crummy. However, when I was in the ER 2 weeks ago, I couldn’t see one single drop of light so considering how far I’ve come, I am extremely thankful to no longer be blind. Speaking of the ER, if you’ve ever wondered how much it costs to get your eye beat to hell with a softball, it’s $1532.75 plus 4 hours of sitting there scared as hell and wondering if anyone is ever going to come tell you what the results of your CT Scan are. Speaking of CT Scans, they cost $1244.75.

In case you have any other financial questions about the ER, here is a rundown of how much things cost in there besides the CT Scan: One pain pill will run you $55.25. One disposable ice pack costs just $10.00. The ink that they write the prescription for more pain pills apparently is worth $6.00 and finally on top of all that, they also charge you $216.75 just to sit in their fabulously comfortable plastic chairs for 4 hours. Add that to the 7 trips to the eye doctor at $90 each plus the 8 vacation days you lose at work and you’ve got yourself one hell of a deal. I knew playing city-league softball would prove to be a rewarding use of my Tuesday nights but I never suspected it would be this exciting! ARGHHHHHH.

My eye seems to be getting better on the inside while getting a little bit grosser on the outside. The doctor was pleased to see some improvement this morning. The fluid is clearing up and my vision is slowly coming back. The pain pills have kept me feeling pretty good despite being stuck in bed all day and all night for 3 days now.

As you can see from the photos of days 2 & 3, the swelling is going down leaving my eye exposed a little. I have to keep a metal shield over it all day which is kinda odd since it’s got little holes in it. Now I know what it’s like to be a fly except for the landing on/eating dookie part.

Apparently there is a high risk of re-bleeding on days four and five so this weekend is supposed to be VERY low key. I guess I will continue watching Deadwood season 1 and Curb Your Enthusiasm season 2. Wish me luck and don’t get pissed at me if those pictures gross you out.

I’ve put up a few photos in the photo section for those of you who aren’t easily grossed out. My eye seems to be getting a little bit better on the inside but a little bit worse on the outside. See for yourself if you wanna. Back to the doctor in a couple of hours…

A huge thank you to Tim and Cathy for bringing by a kick-ass care package complete with an eye patch, Dr. Peppers and plenty of sweet treats. Another enormous thank you to Jonathan and Lacy for the Chicken Spaghetti. Care packages are flying in left and right. I even got flowers from my work. Thanks, everyone!

The eye specialist said that the pressure on my eye was normal and that my vision is getting a little better with time. Lot’s of interior bleeding and the swelling is ridiculous. I have to go back to the eye doctor once a day for the next 3-5 days to make sure the bleeding/pressure doesn’t increase. After that, he said it could be 2-3 weeks before the swelling goes down enough for him to get a proper examination and to know if my vision will come back completely. I’m crossing my fingers.

For now, it’s back to sleep and hopefully some DVD watching later tonight.

Some of you have asked to see a photo of my eye. It’s pretty crazy-looking so consider yourself warned before clicking here.

For those of you that I haven’t been able to get a hold of yet (and before you hear from someone else), I got hurt pretty bad playing softball last night. I was playing outfield and was chasing a fly ball (that I should’ve let Nick take b/c it was WAY closer to him) when I stumbled and my arm dropped allowing the ball to hit me right in my freaking eye.

After a few hours in the emergency room, I was finally sent home with this diagnosis: My nose is broken. The bone below my eye is broken. I had no vision in my eye at all due to a lot of bleeding. However, some of my vision has come back in the eye which is a huge relief. It’s only about 10% but last night it was 0% so hopefully that is a good sign. I have an appointment with an eye specialist this morning to determine the extent of the damage to my eye and to also determine if I need surgery to repair the broken bones or to relieve some of the pressure on my eye.

Thank you so very much Sarah, Eric and Laura for driving me all over NW Arkansas until the wee hours of the night and taking care of me. Ya’ll rule. Also thanks to whoever hooked me up with all that ice at the softball field since there was no ice anywhere on site (not even the concession stand).

I will post something as soon as I am back home and know more (not pictures, though b/c it is really, really crazy-looking…OK, maybe pictures later, heh.) Thanks again everyone for the calls, text messages, emails and overall concern.

GO CANADIAN TUXEDOS!

I play softball on a sweet team called The Canadian Tuxedos. We are just about the best team in the league. By “best team” I do not mean the “wins games” kind of best team, though. I mean the “has the most fans, plays awesome music from the dugout and wears football helmets while up to bat” kind of best team.

For those of you not in-the-know, a Canadian Tuxedo is when you wear jeans, a jean shirt and a jean jacket. Sometimes, you can go with just the jeans and the jean shirt. However, jeans and a jean jacket do not equal a Canadian Tuxedo cause sometimes they look cool together. The best way to tell is this: If it looks ridiculous, it’s a Canadian Tuxedo.

I tried to get the other guys to agree to wearing actual Canadian Tuxedos for jerseys but they said it would be too hot. I say, it would be too HOTT as in kick-ass but alas, we got regular jerseys instead. We did, however, get to choose our nickname on the back. Mine is “Winner” which is pretty awesome but not as awesome as Dustin’s nickname which actually is “Awesome.”

There are only six teams in the “Recreational” league and we are one of them. We chose this league over the “Competetive” leagues so we might actually stand a chance of winning a game or two but after games 1 and 2 last week, we realized that “Recreational” league is secret code for “Competetive Leagues Filled Up So The Recreational League Will Have One Recreational Team and Five Competetive Teams Meaning The Recreational Team Will Suffer Endless Losses And Eternal Humiliation.”

We will not let this bring us down, though. We have lots more going for us than just being good (which we aren’t). We have about a dozen die-hard fans, we have Jonathan “Boombox” Haguewood who plays theme music every time we go up to bat and finally, we have a real dolphin for a mascot. Psyche you out. We don’t have a real dolphin for a mascot but we do have way cooler stuff than the other team, win or lose.

Matt Pond PA “Canadian Song”