Crasymaker

Dear Cox Communications,

After many years of marriage to you and your services, I think I might want a divorce or at least a partial separation. I appreciate all of the information that you have brought me via my television set and my (too) many computers, however, the level of service that you have been providing over the last year is so low that I have been “maybe sort of looking” for another provider.

Our problems first began when my internet service was disrupted last year. I called you up and you told me not to worry and that all I needed to do was turn off my router and wait a few minutes before turning it back on. Oh how I was happy when this solved my problem. A week later when it happened again, I almost called you before remembering your wise advice to turn off my router and turn it back on. It worked. Later that same day when it happened again, I turned off my router and turned it back on. It worked. The next week when it happened again, I turned off my router and turned it back on. It worked. The fifth time it happened that day I turned off my router and turned it back on. It worked.

For some reason, I kept up this ridiculous habit for almost a year until last week when I realized that we shouldn’t have to live this way. We both deserve to be happy and this silly game of turning off my router and turning it back on isn’t doing either of us any good. I called you up and after you told me to turn off my router and turn it back on again I gently put my hand over your mouth and said, “Please don’t ask me to turn off my router and turn it back on again. I’ve been doing that 5 or 6 times a day for nearly a year and this has got to stop.”

I was pleasantly surprised when you completely understood my pain and offered to send a technician out to my house. It was as if you actually understood that turning off a router and turning it back on over and over and over again is no way to live. However, after almost 3 hours of service work on my cable lines, I began to have the same problem almost immediately upon the departure of the technicians (the first guy couldn’t do anything and had to call in for backup) even though they assured me that the problem was now fixed.

After four rounds of turning the router off and then turning it back on again yesterday I was starting to feel like we might should have a serious talk when you got home (when my internet came back up so I could look up your phone number). While waiting, I discovered that upon pressing “Guide” on my DVR remote, instead of bringing up the program guide, every single cell for every hour and every day displayed the words “No Data”. Not only does this mean that I cannot see what is coming on television (a key feature of a cable box) but I also cannot program my DVR to record anything because there is “No Data” for me to choose from. This means that my DVR is completely worthless.

As you know, I called you up and after giving me the “turn off the router and turn it back on again” speech I nearly lost it. I demanded that a technician come to the house and that someone tell me how to fix my DVR. You said you’d send a technician this Friday and that holding down the “Guide” button on the DVR until it displayed “READ” would surely solve my problem and that if it didn’t then try it again until it’s fixed. Well, it never worked. I tried it four times and here we are twelve hours later with “No Data.”

I’ve had enough my dear “friend in the digital age.” With the help of my loyal readers, I hope to find an alternate solution. Someone who actually cares about me and my cable/internet needs. Someone who will actually provide me with the services that I pay for on a monthly basis. Someone who needs me. Someone who wants me. Someone who loves me…

Sincerely,
Todd